Monster drinks, 666 and the devil – Christians don’t let facts get in the way of rhetoric

About a year ago some berk put out a video about how Monster’s energy drink is in fact the product of Satan and should be avoided at all costs.

Spawn of Satan... if only because of the taste.
Spawn of Satan… if only because of the taste.

The evidence for this startling revelation (see what I did there? LOL) was that it’s logo, the three scratches, are in fact the Hebrew characters for Vav (or sometimes written as Vau) which looks a little like this symbol ⌉. This represents the value of 6.

So many a bright spark (sarcasm) has made merry of the fact that this OBVIOUSLY represents the mark of beast 666.

All of which would be entirely shocking and terrifying were it not for a few tiny issues. In the words of Sidney Wang in the outstanding Murder by Death.

“Is stupid. Is most stupid theory I ever heard.”

So the current video doing the rounds is this woman who seems to have a whole booth to herself including lots of Monster merchandise. At first I wondered if this was in fact a viral marketing campaign for Monster and perhaps it is.

Anyway, she goes into the whole thing in agonisingly wrong detail even going so far as to show THIS handy little crib sheet for Hebrew numbers.

The Hebrew cribe sheet

I think I have the exact image she’s using as it’s even got the yellow box on it. But what’s interesting is how she has removed the last row of numbers.

I say interesting because if it was there it might have led some more intelligent person to start to question the format of Hebrew numbers. What’s actually important is that even in the video you can see the second row, clearly showing the symbols for what we call the “tens” column.

This is because in Hebrew numbers are built up, similar to Roman Numerals, using a serious of symbols that when added together produce the final result. But that’s obvious, because it’s in the text that goes with this chart. So you’d think these people were just dumb if it wasn’t for the fact they appear to be deliberately deceiving the gullible to believe this drivel.

Here’s an even worse culprit

I say this person is even worse because he actually shows a website that depicts how Hebrew numbers are created and chooses to ignore the instructions ENTIRELY and give his little “Vav” speech as per above. But while he does so, on screen you see the following.

The value of the word shalom (Shin, Lamed, Vav, Mem) is 300 + 30 + 6 + 40 = 376

So he’s being shown how numbers are constructed and he quite clearly ignores it and makes his own version of Hebrew numbers.

For those who actually want to be bothered to know, the Hebrew for 666 is:

Samech Resh Tav Vav = 6 + 60 + 600

Hebrew Numbers

Hebrew is written right to left and here are the symbols.

BUT… it should be noted that 666 isn’t the number of the beast ANYWAY.

It’s been widely accepted by scholars both Biblical and Jewish, that the 666 numerology and the now identified 616 are in fact derived from the name of Roman Caesar Nero. Here’s a link to a very educational article on the subject. I wouldn’t dare to try and better this from Yale.

The Independent did a fun little write up for those with less patience, even if they do completely cock up the name of the Caesar… and he wasn’t even KNOWN as Caligula, to make things even more stupid – he was Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus or Gaius Caesar. But no matter… the rest appears to be fairly sound.

So where does that leave us. Well, there’s the “upside down cross” in the Monster. But this is actually the 21st letter of the Greek alphabet phi Φ. MΦNSTER

As for why sexually attractive mothers (MILFS) relate to Satan is beyond me. I’ve no answer as to why that’s even mentioned… but I guess by that point in the video she was already on roll of complete bullshit.

Now, I could have made this 666 words long. But that would only have been further evidence I’m part of a big coverup and that these ill-educated and/or deceiving individuals are in fact right all along. But lets face it, there are plenty of good reasons to not drink Monster Energy Drink… but being the work of the devil is NOT one of them.


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